I am a person that has an identity crisis every once in a while. Maybe a little too often than needed. There were a lot of changes in a short time and I had to be as adaptive as possible, while I was going through some stuff, had to take care of some business, and had my own problems that needed to be fixed. As a result, nothing got fixed at all.
In fact, it even got worse. In the middle of this hurricane of events, when I was in this state of complete despair, with all the doors closed in front of me and no way to even check what’s on the other side, I couldn’t handle it anymore. A part of me wanted to give up and another part (that’s stronger) pushed me forward.
I was exhausted, overweight, sad, overwhelmed with tasks and on top of everything, my two-year-old was throwing one tantrum after the other.
I knew I needed to do something, but what? There were too many things on my plate and the only thing that made sense was getting back at it.
In fact, the change didn’t come from a sudden moment of spiritual enlightenment, no. In fact, I received a terrible diagnosis that made my MD talk about a 5-year prognosis.
Everything passed and I was well, but I realized that some decisions I had made before were pretty stupid and it wasn’t worth it to get hung up over them. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to change the course of my life, whether for better or worse will be determined by me.
So here’s what I did…
I found myself on the verge of burnout and it didn’t look good. I was miserable, tired, frustrated and my life was not moving in the direction that I wanted it to.
After some time, I managed to figure out what’s wrong with me and how I could fix it. Here is a list of things that you can do if you find yourself on the verge of ruin:
Cut off people who bring nothing but negativity to your life.
This is the hardest thing to do, but you have to understand that it’s just not healthy for you anymore and that you deserve better. It might be a family member and it will definitely hurt, but it’s the only way to get right with yourself.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so stop surrounding yourself with people who you consider “negative” and start hanging out with those who inspire you, motivate you, and support you.
I think this is one of the hardest things, but also one of the best things you can do for yourself.
It’s about getting rid of toxic people, who don’t treat you in a way that you deserve, or that doesn’t make sense to be around them for any reason. They will bring nothing into your life but stress and problems.
Let’s be clear – this doesn’t mean these people are bad or wish you the worst. It just means that this relationship doesn’t bring out the best version of you.
You have to understand, some people are just not meant to be together and live in harmony.
If they were a good influence on your life, then it would have happened by now, or at least tried new things together. You can’t stay stuck at a certain stage of your life and refuse to grow up, because you’re afraid.
Only surround yourself with those who will inspire you to be better; those that want you to be successful; those that understand the vision and goals that you have planned for your future.
You need a cheerleader by your side, not a saboteur. Sometimes we find this in a romantic relationship, sometimes we find it in our family, and other times we find it in the amazing people we meet along the way.
The power of positive thinking is great and you have to be open to change if you’re ready for it. If you don’t believe in yourself that will show up through your actions and nobody will help you.
Make yourself happy before you make anyone else happy.
It’s about getting rid of external forces that will influence your happiness, like the approval of others or social pressure. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to prioritize your own needs first (before someone else’s).
You might find it counterintuitive, but your needs come first. Once you stop worrying about other people’s validation and start focusing on what makes you happy, things will get a lot easier.
That means spending more time doing the things that make you feel good and taking care of yourself first and foremost (of course always within reason).
You need to know what makes you happy and then work every day on making that a reality. If you don’t, then you’ll just be miserable and that will have a negative impact on those around you as well.
You need to focus on the present moment as much as possible and live in it as if it was your last day.
It’s simple – stop thinking about the past and future. If you’re constantly thinking about them, then it means that you’re not living the present. You need to be here now and stop worrying all the time.
Sometimes we worry so much about not having enough money to buy a house or go on vacation because we don’t realize how many amazing things we have in our lives already.
Start counting your blessings and enjoy life’s little pleasures. You need to learn how to appreciate the things you already have, not the things that you don’t yet own (or think you deserve).
If you’re always looking ahead and living in fear of what might happen next, then this is a recipe for disaster. It means that anything that happens will come as a surprise to you and it’s unlikely that it’ll be good.
So, start living more in the moment and learn how to enjoy the things that you already have.
You’ll see that it makes a big difference when you start doing this and life will become a lot more enjoyable.
It’s about understanding that being happy with yourself is the only way to create happiness around you.
Stop being too sensitive.
It’s not an illness, but it’s definitely something that needs to be addressed. It sounds harsh but oftentimes we misinterpret other people’s comments for something bad when in reality they are just trying to help us.
You have to fight the desire to always agree with everyone around you and start thinking for yourself. Once you do, other people will like you a lot more and want to spend time with you (and this will be good for you as well).
The world is not conspiring against you. They are either trying to help or, honestly, don’t care at all.
To be truly happy and successful in life, you need to learn how to be OK with yourself. It doesn’t matter what people say or think, they are not living your life and you can’t please everyone.
Once you accept that and appreciate yourself for who you really are, the people around you will start seeing how amazing you are.
Truth be told, when you start doing changes in your life, you’ll get a lot of negative feedback from other people. That’s because they feel threatened by the changes or just don’t understand them.
That’s why it’s important to stay true to yourself and not be afraid of criticism. If you start listening to what others say too much or worry about them, then you’ll always fail in your quest for happiness.
You’ll never find happiness in things or places because they are always changing. The only thing that stays constant is your own mind and if it’s preoccupied with worry or negative thoughts – then your life will be full of misery.
Even when something seems good now, you have to learn how to enjoy it for what it is and not expect more from it.
People are looking for someone who knows how to live life with a big smile on their face, you need to stand out by being the best version of yourself possible.
Be happy with everything that happens in your life because there are no mistakes – only lessons that help us become better people.
Start getting rid of things that make no sense.
I don’t know about you, but I had my fair share of things that were lying around the house, and they obviously had no reason to be there. They were just taking up space and adding to the clutter that’s already present in your home.
You need to start getting rid of all the things that are not important or useful anymore. If something is not adding value to your life, then you should let it go – even if it seems expensive or valuable.
You don’t want to have a house full of junk because it’s going to make everything feel disorganized and depressing.
I know how hard letting go of material things is. I used to surround myself with everything I believed would bring me comfort and happiness, but it didn’t. The more I tried to keep those things close to me the further away happiness moved.
In the end, it’s all about changing your perspective and realizing what is really important in life.
Be a good person and help others whenever possible.
It’s as simple as that. You don’t have to become a philanthropist or something like that, but start being nice to people around you and the world will respond with positivity.
For me, volunteering did wonders – I got to meet wonderful people and at the same time help animals.
It also gave me a sense of purpose in life, knowing that I am doing something good made me feel happy and satisfied with myself.
Always try to make others feel good about themselves, be it, friends or family. Don’t let them bring you down by telling you what you ought to do – instead support them and tell them how awesome they already are.
People will love spending time with someone who is genuinely nice and supportive of their efforts, so take on this role right now and help others come out of their shells.
A warning here – don’t rush into this. Make sure your own life is on track before you start trying to help someone else. If everything seems good, wait a little longer. Change is a slow process and it’s going to take some time for you to start getting the results you want. It is also fragile – you can’t turn your life in a day or two. It takes time to make the change permanent, so wait a bit before starting to spread the positive vibes.
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by other people.
I know, I know – it sounds cheesy and impossible at times, but try being nice to yourself from now on. If you were a friend or a family member, then wouldn’t you treat yourself in a similar manner?
I know it’s hard when you don’t understand yourself and what you really want in life, but give yourself some time. One day everything will click into place and you’ll see that all your efforts were worth it.
Believe me – if I can do this then so can you.
The inner critic can be very harsh, so it’s better to ignore it than feed into the negativity.
If you constantly criticize yourself for every single mistake then don’t expect things to get any better. After all, if you are your own worst enemy then why not try being your own friend instead?
Would you ever talk the same way you speak to yourself to a close friend?
I hope not, so start treating yourself with the same love and care you would show your best friend.
It’s time to be compassionate and understanding towards yourself – it’s a step in the right direction you’ll never regret making.
Don’t let anything stop you from being the best person you can possibly be.
Explore who you really are and what you want, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and never stop trying.
Your life’s journey is going to be exciting and fulfilling if you decide to trust your instincts – so no living for other people, just live your own way!
No one’s perfect and that’s ok because we don’t want perfection anyway. It’d be boring if everyone was the same and had the same exact traits as each other so embrace who you are and all of your flaws as well
Instead, try simplifying your life as much as possible and remove all the unnecessary junk from your home (including your mind).
At the end of the day, you should feel good about who you are and be satisfied with your life. Life is too short to be unhappy, so change your perspective and enjoy the ride.